Pregnancy Loss: Finding Support After Pregnancy Loss

According to the Mayo Clinic, approximately 10 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage and approximately .5% (or 1 in 160) pregnancies end in stillbirth ("Pregnancy loss," 2023). While these statistics highlight how common these experiences are, they do little to alleviate the unique pain of your loss. You may be wondering if what you are feeling is “normal”.

Understanding Your Emotions

There is no right way or wrong way to feel after a loss. Many women experience a whirlwind of emotions, including shock, confusion, sadness, guilt, anger, loneliness, and even numbness. You might resonate with these feelings—or you may feel something entirely different. Grief can even manifest as physical pain in the body and is often felt as exhaustion.

It is not uncommon to try and deny, detach, or numb your feelings through various ways – such as alcohol, food, work, binge watching netflix, doom scrolling, or other distractions. However, it’s essential to recognize that you cannot heal what you don’t allow yourself to feel. Facing the pain of your loss head-on may seem daunting, overwhelming, or even impossible; your loss was sudden and so unexpected. With no time to process what was about to happen, this unanticipated loss can leave you in a whirlwind physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, allowing yourself to feel and process through these emotions is a crucial step in your healing journey. Embracing your emotions, no matter how difficult, is the path toward true recovery.

Finding Support

Having support while grieving is crucial. Sharing your feelings with someone who understands can provide comfort and validation. You may have the desire to talk about your loss but feel like you’re burdening family and friends. Perhaps you've attempted to share your experience, only to feel judged or misunderstood by those around you. Or perhaps you don’t know who to share your experience with, because you are not sure who will understand. This can create a sense of isolation, making it even harder to process your grief. At First Place Options we will come alongside you in your grief journey and offer a safe place to explore the many complex emotions that you are experiencing.

Remember, working through grief and loss doesn’t mean trying to erase the pain or memory of what you have gone through. The memory of the loss will be with you for your lifetime, but processing your pain will allow you, in time, to remember with more love than sadness.

As Dr. Caroline Leaf wisely states, “True healing doesn’t mean erasing the existence of hurt. It means the hurt no longer controls you, your emotions, and your mental health.”

The Non-Linear Journey of Grief

It’s important to recognize that grief is not a linear process. You may experience ebbs and flows in your emotions, good days and bad, as well as complicated feelings. The encouraging news is that you don’t have to walk this journey alone.

If you feel stuck in your grief after a pregnancy loss and are wanting support, please reach out today. All of our services are free. You are not alone.

- FPO Team

Mayo Clinic. (2023, September 8). Pregnancy loss (miscarriage): Symptoms & causes. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pregnancy-loss-miscarriage/symptoms-causes/syc-20354298